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Understand how to heal. Stonewalling and gaslighting are two tactics people use as defensive or offensive measures. They then had to find those items by looking at photographs. The ones who said the words found the foods faster. While we all know what a banana looks like, saying the word aloud helps the brain activate additional information on that item, including what it looks like, he says. Hearing the name exaggerates what might normally happen if you just bring something to mind.
Language boosts that process. Anne Wilson Schaef, a former psychologist and now author and speaker, often encouraged her clients to speak to themselves. The anger would then disappear. She believes it has something to do with who is listening to the words.
Knowing ourselves and how we feel can help us improve. Studies suggest that Schaef is onto something. However, we have to say the right words for this to work. In another study, Kross, who outlined his research in the Harvard Business Review , asked people to refer silently to themselves in the second or third person while preparing for a speech and found they were calmer, more confident and performed better on tasks than those who used only first-person words.
The results were so profound, wrote Kross, that he now gets his young daughter to speak to herself in the third person when she is distressed. Talking to ourselves has many other benefits. Referring to yourself in the third person can sound especially pompous, but Kross says it can make you perform better Credit: Getty Images. Popular Reads 6 simple ways to cut your dementia risk The dangers of Medicare Part B excess charges The 5 worst things to say after someone dies.
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